Something devious is stirring not far from a soon-to-be opened tourist attraction, but what seems like another fun pastime for locals and horror enthusiasts is quickly revealed to be anything but—it’s an awful crime scene gone commercial. Unable to stomach the dastardly idea, four friends hatch a seemingly righteous plan that eventually lands them in the center of a complex investigation. Embodying all the hallmarks of the found-footage genre, Confessions in Static possesses a classic old-school charm mixed with writer/director Bob Freville’s admirable indie sensibilities; and yet the end product completely misses the mark by letting its admittedly flimsy story down with painfully stiff performances and a languid pace.
Perhaps the worst part about the feature is that you initially really want to follow along and crack the case, just like the off-screen investigator interviewing the four people behind the scheme. You have the leader Jason (Scott Dowd), the somewhat clueless and awkward comic relief in Al (Matt Tanzosh), the stern Lisa (Mackenzie Keyes), and the cameraman Danny (Jimmy Donohue). Four personalities crammed into one vehicle and engaged on a mission, yet none of them stand out on their own or bring anything remotely interesting to the table. If anything, the procedural part is the more fascinating element of Freville’s screenplay, but even those sequences stall thanks to blatantly ineffective dialogue. The opening alone sets the tone, where characters literally utter the phrase “let’s change the topic” to shift their talking points, when what preceded it was a lifeless, humorless argument about Starbucks drinks.
Freville is clearly trying to tap into the very core of what makes camcorder/POV thrillers beloved by their respective fanbases: they keep things equal parts simple and tense. The simple part is quite adequately accomplished, with the sound design, cinematography, and framing erring on the practical, borderline serviceable side, driving the narrative with a matter-of-fact approach. Tension, however, is virtually nonexistent, leaving you wondering when the film will actually kick into high gear and take some risks.
The four friends reunite at a funeral, only to discover that the nearby Decker house has been converted into a theme park experience by inhabitants seeking to profit off the traumatic murders within. Jason’s disdain for the acquisition is apparent, calling it “an Airbnb for immoral perverts,” thus kickstarting the group’s plans to upend the operation. Why or how these people are so up in arms about the events is anyone’s guess, as the writing seems intent to rely solely on exposition and forced topic changes to drive itself into the next scene, instead of establishing any of the four friends as real, grounded individuals. Yes, a lot of these found footage flicks employ a level of improv to sell their “slice-of-life” premise, but in Confessions in Static, these efforts are painfully obvious, hampered further by stilted acting from everyone involved. Credit where credit is due, the writing wisely tries to deviate into a darker character study towards its second half, but not even that can save what was already a pointless venture to begin with.
Neither a half-decent crime movie nor a fun found-footage romp, Confessions in Static comes up short on virtually every front, from its dull technical execution to its inconsequential story, all the way down to its ensemble that thoroughly underwhelms.
